Today was one of those really hard days. I am always so relieved when Jared comes home because it always cheers JR up and Jared just seems to know how to get JR to listen. However Jared had plans to take out his special needs friend today so I knew I couldn't count on that for afternoon entertainment. My mom called though and said the family was all getting together for dinner in Nampa at Brick49 so I figured it would do JR and I both some good to get out of the house.
Boy was I wrong. Since JR started this whole screaming/tantrum thing a few weeks ago I have taken him a few places but they have always been kid-friendly and with his cousins or with Jared by my side to be the disciplinary and to give JR what I like to call "the look" when he acts out.
Jr did okay at first after we figured out he wanted Grandpa's strawberry daiquiri. He drank nearly half of it.
So I got him his own in a kids cup with a lid and straw and of course he wanted nothing to do with it. He did his newly learned behavior of slapping the table and waving his arms about to push everything out of his way and also screamed and squawked. I ended taking him out three or four times and spent more than half the evening outside with him, freezing with a runny nose, tears brimming in my eyes wondering what had gone wrong.
It's a really good thing that he is sooooo stinking cute!
I don't know what the point of this is other than to get it out and off my mind. I know I am not the only mom who has ever been in this situation or felt this way and that does comfort me. And I also don't think JR is a bad kid. He is smart and sweet and funny and helpful and so wonderful. I think in that time out there in the cold I just really realized that as JR's main caretaker I could never ever do it without a break once in a while and I have so many people who help me.
I have my job where I have a great co-worker, I have my mom who watches JR once a week while I work and she and my dad take him other times too. I have my sister who knows how to make him laugh and smile like no one else can. I have my sister's-in-law who are great friends and who also provide lots of little cousins for entertainment! I have my brother and his wife who love JR and his mommy (even when we are cranky), and most of all I have my husband and best friend Jared, who really is the greatest dad. I don't think he knows it or would take credit for it, but I could not make it without him. He lifts me up when I am down and puts up with me when I am snappy and he knows that I struggle with my life as a mommy.
Jared, thank you so much. I love you for always being there and I realized tonight that I really, really miss you when you aren't!
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